One of the worst feelings in the world is having someone not believe you when you're telling the truth. i thought my best friend would know me better than that. i hurt so bad. i feel like i'm losing him again. i miss him. i cant eat and i cant sleep. i want to release this pain, but i have no way of doing so. no way that is satisfying, at least. he wont talk to me. my best friend hates me for something i didnt do. i want to die. i'm trying my hardest to keep my promise, but i have my razors by my bed. it might be weird but just holding them in my hand makes me feel a little bit better. god i need some help. why does something like this always happen?? I think God is trying to kill me. he keeps pushing me and pushing me. little does he know, i'm on the edge and i dont have my best friend to catch me anymore. i miss his smile and the sound of his voice. i miss his love. i miss him so much. i'm trying my hardest not to cry. i dont want anyone thinking anything's wrong. i love him so much. god this hurts so bad.